"The Mean One"
review by Diablo Joe

Audio version


"The Mean One"


Winnie the Pooh. The Banana Splits. These are just some of the fondly remembered childhood classics recently receiving gory, grisly modern updates. The latest entry dipped in blood and dark intent shall remain unnamed at the behest of the filmmakers. He is a beloved green-furred holiday figure of book and perennial TV special, already possessing horror ties to a thespian great whose genteel lisp voiced his animated incarnation. And we shall leave it at that.

Young Cindy was traumatized as a child when the green monster in a Santa suit killed her mother on Christmas Eve. Now an adult, she returns to her childhood home of Newville to find it bereft of any holiday cheer. For years, any glitter of tinsel or sound of wrapping paper tearing brought death and mayhem at the hands of a holiday-hating figure with a woefully dark and shriveled heart.

“The Mean One” is a lively and tongue-in-cheek take on its Christmas counterpart, and director Steve LaMorte, who crafted the film’s clever and energetic script with Finn and Flip Kobler, knows how to make an enjoyable and light-hearted movie that can still bring the ick and gore. The picture is filled with witty puns, corny humor, and a myriad of brink-of-lawsuit nods to its source material. All the while, LaMorte keeps the kills coming and creatively.

The cast is appealing and roundly solid. As not-so-little Cindy You-Know-Who, Krystle Martin starts off the film as the perfect horror sweetheart, only to morph into a feisty and fierce fighting figure. During the requisite training montage, Martin will bring to many an audience member’s mind MMA fighter and pro wrestler Rhonda Rousey, for whom Martin was once a stunt double. Chase Mullins is suitable dorky as the self-effacing cop who catches Cindy’s heart, and Erik Baker is all macho grit as the skeptical Newville sheriff who knows more than he lets on. Particularly enjoyable is the lovably gruff and grumble “Doc” Zeus, played by John Bingham, a man who has made it his mission to end The Mean One’s slay bell ringing.

And what of that ol’ Mean One? If his pantomime antics during the scene where he terrorizes and eviscerates a barroom full of drunken mall Santas remind you of a certain terrifying clown, don’t be surprised that the man behind the mean green is Art himself, David Howard Thornton. While the comparison between the two roles is a bit on the nose in that scene, Thornton’s Mean One is far more vocal and bestial throughout the rest of the film. He’s a nasty piece of worth, that fellow.

From its cheeky, sing-song narration to its gaudy, bright, and colorful photography and its excellent production design, everything about “The Mean One” is a cut above. Though sometimes strangely paired with distracting CGI bloodletting, its makeup effects are gruesome and delightfully fun.

From its Christmas Eve opening to its didn’t-see-that-coming ending, “The Mean One” is both an enjoyable horror parody and a perversely cheeky and blood-soaked love letter to its source material. It’s goofy, gory fun wrapped up with a bow tightly tied ‘round it’s neck.

This devil of a reviewer gives “The Mean One” 3 out of 5 imps.