The Invisible Raptor
A review by Aaron Barrocas

The Invisible Raptor



“Was that really a raptor?”
“Yes - an invisible raptor.”

For years, filmmakers have puzzled over how to improve on the threat of the Velociraptor in Jurassic Park. It was the perfect killing machine. Intelligent, fast, and vicious. We now know what opportunity Spielberg and company let slip through their fingers again and again and again. In two trilogies, every single Velocirapter has been unquestionably visible. Finally, director Mike Hermosa, along with writers Mike Capes and Johnny Wickham have righted this wrong.

The Invisible Raptor is a comedic triumph. I don’t say that lightly, and I don’t say that just because I love farce - though I really super love farce. The script and direction focused on character and story as much as they did on laughs. So while the jokes are constant - even in the deep-second/early third act when even the best comedies tend to falter, there’s also a buddy comedy, and a romantic comedy, and we care about those stories. Also, and of course - there’s a horror movie in there - a nasty gorefest. Decapitations, teeth dripping down walls, people being literally pulled apart limb by limb - this movie really does have something for everybody. Except maybe for people who like looking at dinosaurs.

This movie also gives us something we don’t see that often in modern film - especially in indie films: pantomime. The algebra of acting classes - “when will I ever use THIS?” many actors likely ask as they walk-in-place face first into a glass wall. For a handful of talented actors, that answer was a resounding: On this set. There’s an idiom about not poking a sleeping bear - and that was the height of dangerous things that idiom writers could think of. Because even the most prescient idiographer would never have fathomed a situation where you’d risk stepping on a sleeping invisible velociraptor. Right then, you’d better believe those exaggerated pantomime steps come in handy. The cast convincingly - and at times frighteningly - wrestles with an invisible antagonist. Granted, this happens a ton in superhero movies, but by the time our butts hit the seats for Marvel’s latest entry, we’re actually seeing whatever the actors are pretending exists. In the Invisible Raptor, we get to watch the unadulterated pantomime work, as no composite artists have messed up the performances with the passé, cliched choice of putting in a visible dinosaur.

The movie starts out in Tyler Corp Genetech Laboratory, where we meet Dr. Willie Walsh (Sean Astin - complete with his familiar inhaler). Willie has been teaching an invisible velociraptor high level problem solving skills - likely to compensate for his own tremendous lack of judgment and foresight. So the raptor gets out - which duh.

The raptor, named (big spoiler but wow does this tell you how much you will enjoy this movie) Chance the Raptor, heads to DinoWorld, a kid’s dinosaur museum. This is where we’ll meet Dr. Grant Walker (Mike Capes - also a Co-Writer), Denny (David Shackelford), and Amber (Caitlin McHugh). Grant is a disgraced paleontologist, as his major breakthrough discovery was stolen by a corporation - so he now performs dinosaur raps to children. Denny is a park security guard with dreams of joining the police force, but the whole town has seen him as a joke since an unfortunate childhood pantsing incident destroyed his reputation and self-confidence. Amber, who just happens to be visiting the park on the day all hell is about to break loose, is a recent divorcee and long-lost ex-girlfriend of Dr. Walker (he did the ex-ing, because he was a jerk. He walks - it’s in his name).

The thread here is that these three characters are all not where they want to be. Who doesn’t love loser stories? It, The Monster Squad, Superbad, Dirty Work, The Goonies, Shaun of the Dead, Office Space - etc. With a good loser story, you know there will be some triumph because as my crush wrote in my sixth grade yearbook: Dear Eric, I know next year will be great for you, because there’s no way it can get any worse.

Plus the whole - her ex-boyfriend works in the dino park and they happen to run into each other following her divorce - thing feels a lot like a Hallmark movie. Not in a bad way, but rather in the “most successful and recognizable made-for-tv movie brand in the world” way. We want these two to get back together. Amber has had enough time with the men who did the things they intended to do with their lives, and we want to see her land this devastated shell of a man that remains of a once-promising Paleontologist.

So those two want to put their past behind them and find a romance that works - and Denny just really wants some friends and some respect. Chance the Raptor, well, he wants to chew on victims’ skulls and guts before pooping out people parts. And we’re rooting for all these characters to find exactly what they’re searching for.

Our three heroes soon task themselves with saving an ungrateful and unbelieving world from an invisible, fast, feathered predator. That’s right - feathered - take notes, Amblin. And there’s no comment section on this review just so that nobody can come at me with Dominion because that was six movies and 29 years too late.

Capes, Shackelford, and McHugh turn in performances that allow us to realistically buy the moment, but also laugh consistently at the clever absurdism throughout the movie. We like them, despite their faults. We want them to succeed - but not too soon, because watching people get eaten by an Invisible Velociraptor is a YouTube genre waiting to happen.

An additional performance of note is Sandy Martin as Henrietta McCluckskey. Sandy Martin is one of many faces in this movie that you immediately recognize, and trust with your laughing needs. As the perpetually unpleasant, chicken urine hoarding, Q-Anon leaning proprietor of McCluckskey Farms, Henrietta plays a crucial role in the battle against her chickens’ threatening ancestor.

The Invisible Raptor is an hour and fifty three minutes. This would usually be a bit long for a farce horror-comedy, but I wouldn’t have even minded if it were an hour and fifty seven minutes. Horror-comedy is difficult to pull off, and this is the thing done right. I look forward to The Invisible Raptor, Too.

Five invisible stars.

Aaron Barrocas is an award-winning screenwriter, filmmaker, and editor living in Los Angeles. He has spent the past 25 years as an active part of the entertainment industry.
AaronBarrocas.com

PS: If you want more Christ in your cretaceous comedies, I suggest you check out 2017’s The Velocipastor.