Review of "Assholes" by Jason Minton
Assholes – 2017
Production by: Jack Boar Productions
Distribution by: Breaking Glass Pictures
Adah and Aaron are a couple of assholes. Two people meeting at their therapist’s office may seem like a bad idea but finding love in this great, big, shitty, world is rare. Two recovering addicts falling in love could be a beautiful thing. In this case, it’s not. These herpes infested Assholes are about to go on the adventure of a lifetime. So sit back, relax and let’s give birth to this shit covered, asshole baby of a movie together.
“I see a girl on the street and I’m just like” “what would it be like to see her naked you know? Or what would it be like to be in a relationship with that person. But now it’s just like, I wonder what her asshole looks like destroyed. It’s not healthy” and neither is this movie. You know those movies that give you that creepy, uncomfortable feeling? Vulgar movies like the Greasy Strangler, Pink Flamingo and Lust in the Dust? Yeah, this is one of those. It’s the most horribly fun movie I’ve seen since Rose and Viktor: No Mercy. Production values stand out like herpes on a hooker, but you’ll still be whipping your wallet out for this sweet ass. The acting and script are simultaneously awful and awesome. There’s some remarkable dialogue that holds its own with Quentin Tarantino and Woody Allen. Ada (Betsey Brown) vaginally discharges a coked up, STD filled performance that you’ll enjoy trying not to puke to. Aaron (Jack Dunphy) brings his best Seth Rogan body, puss infected penis and all to this blistering role.
“I didn’t know you were gonna shit out a demon.” Assholes is the movie that’ll take a homeless bag lady, cover her in shit and tuck her in bed like a child. Writer, director and co-star Peter Vack grotesquely entertains on a budget. This movie was birthed from Peter Vack’s mortal asshole and it is now prepared to do his bidding. Vick’s dirty Assholes is the SLC Punk of herpes and cocaine in a bottle. I can’t say this is a quality Asshole, but when you find a movie that’s willing to let you enter its Asshole you have to appreciate her. Have you ever wondered what it’s like to eat an asshole but you can’t put tongue to cheek? Well this movie will eat your ass out! So “man the fuck up and kill my brother” or at least recommend he watch Peter Vack’s Assholes.
4 out of 5 Headless Critics